


But For The Grace of God, Go I

by ThatDamnKennedyKid



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, BAMF Tony Stark, F/M, Female Bucky Barnes, Gender Roles, Genderbending, Omega Tony Stark, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-06-11 22:13:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15325518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatDamnKennedyKid/pseuds/ThatDamnKennedyKid
Summary: "Female alphas are animals." Howard slurred, sloppy drunk at barely noon. "There's a damn good reason we hunt them out of polite society."





	1. A Boy Met A Girl

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShadowTK97](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowTK97/gifts).



> This is a combination of a request and a prompt. 
> 
> I was asked by a frequent commenter if I was ever going to write fem!Bucky x Tony, then I saw a prompt for damaged!Bucky who never really recovers his old self, even once he's safe. Then a friend asked me if I would ever write Fem!Bucky. So, yeah. Here they are, all together with a spicy hint of canon divergence.

_"Female alphas are the deepest and darkest parts of human nature given flesh."_ He remembered the tape saying.  _"Born as women who can't bear children, they are wild and extremely territorial. They were known to steal female omegas and betas from pack alphas back in the wild times, despite the fact they cannot conceive with them._

_"Female alphas can only procreate with male omegas, though science has yet to determine why this is. These women act more like animals than women. They are more likely to attack others and their instincts are violent. Distinctly, unlike with betas and omegas, she will not share the same undertone as her male counterpart. Male alphas will always possess an 'alpha musk', but females do not. This is believed to be adapted to cover their approach._

_"Female alphas are well known for their incredibly sharp teeth, and their tendency to leave a 'mating bites' on the shoulders or scent glands of their captured omegas. To combat this brutal ritual, the US government allows a challenge for an omega from any male alpha to a female, even with a legal mating contract or marriage._

_"Do not approach or interact with female alphas unless you have a male alpha with you to put her in her place. Despite her feral tendencies, her feminine nature will show in the face of male alpha dominance."_

He remembered it clear as day, like he was hearing it played out. He'd never had the pleasure of finding out whether those tapes had been right - female alphas were a bare five percent of the world population. In the US alone, their numbers were outmatched by the number of black men killed by police. 

But now, pressed against Yinsen, he was starting to understand what they might have been saying. 

"Watch him." Raza said, turning to smirk darkly at Tony. "And keep him in line."

The massive woman, dressed head to toe in black leather, nodded and replied roughly. 

"What's she saying?"

"It's Russian." Yinsen whispered back. "Something about complying."

Raza left then, the door closing behind him with a final clang and the scrape of a lock. The alpha stood by the door for a long moment, before turning and facing them. Her eyes were clear, but her mouth was covered by a guard. Her hands were gloved as well, but one had metal-plated fingertips. 

"Alpha." Yinsen called, his voice soft and sweet. "Scent us?"

"What are you doing?" He hissed sharply, panic spiking. 

"She won't hurt us." Yinsen said, beckoning her over. 

She walked up to them slowly, like she was circling a dying antelope, but stopped scant inches from them. 

She was even more imposing up close. Her shoulders were broad and she was incredibly muscular, with brown hair so much greasy and long it hung to her hips. Her eyes were a snappy blue, sharp and aware, but cold, like frost overtaking stained glass. 

"Can I undo your jacket, alpha? We want to smell you."

She reached up and undid the jacket with sharp efficiency, shrugging it off her massive shoulders to reveal a thinner layer of leather, but an open neck and gracious amount of collarbone. She glanced between them, then draped the original jacket over Tony's shoulders. 

Yinsen tipped his head back, a silvery set of teeth marks revealing themselves in his neck. She looked at him, then pulled up the sleeve of her right arm and rubbed her wrist against his shoulder. A pack mark, Tony realized. 

She turned to him then and Yinsen motioned for him to offer himself the same way. He tried to, but the skin of his chest pulled and he whimpered. She froze, pushing aside his hands and taking a look at the electromagnet attached to the car battery he was holding. Those metal-tipped fingers brushed over his chest socket and she rumbled aggressively. Instinctively, he backed away. He knew exactly what it was like for an angry alpha to get punchy, alcohol or not. 

Her noise this time was wounded. 

"Let her touch you." Yinsen said. 

"She's going to hurt me." He breathed back. 

" _Nyet, myshka._ " She said, her shoulders dropping. She seemed to struggle for a beat before she spoke in heavily accented English. "Come, omega. Not hurt."

He stepped in closer reluctantly, offering as much of his neck as he could. One hand gentle on his neck, the other on his hip, she stepped into his personal space and rubbed her scent gland thickly along his neck. She covered his scent gland up to the underside of his jaw, a low purr issuing from her that settled into his muscles and relaxed him. 

She held him close for a long five minutes, tender and careful of everywhere he hurt from the waterboarding and beatings. When she pulled back, her metal fingers traced over the centre of the magnet. "Fix."

"I'm trying." He whispered back, ready to cry. 

"Good." She looked over at Yinsen. "Good?"

"Yes, alpha." He smiled.

She nodded, then let him go and retreated to the door, where she stood like a sentinel. 

"How did you know?" He whispered. 

"My wife was an alpha." Yinsen smiled fondly. "You've never met a female alpha, have you, Stark?"

"No."

"Be very, very grateful that they made this mistake."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see."

* * *

He shut off the soldering iron when Raza threw the doors open to his room. 

"Where is my missile, Stark?"

"We're working on it." He replied. 

"And yet, I do not see any pieces." He replied, gesturing for his men to grab Yinsen. "Perhaps you need more incentive."

As soon as their hands touched Yinsen, she materialized out of the darkness and wrapped her left hand around Raza's throat, lifting him clean off the ground. She snarled some command in Russian, which Raza appeared to repeat in Arabic, and Yinsen was released. She dropped Raza when he was standing by Tony again. 

"They work." She said shortly, seeming to loom over the smaller alpha. It was impressive, the way she seemed to use the shadow to expand her black-clad body and stifle their courage. 

Raza scowled at her. "They told me you would do well for me. You best live up to their sales pitch."

Even behind the mask, she growled and the men - a pitch mix of beta and alpha - skittered back. "I am doing. They work. You waste time."

He scowled at her, then turned away and left the room. As soon as the doors were closed, she came to Yinsen's side, checking him over. 

"I'm okay, alpha." Yinsen cooed. 

"You knew she would do that." He said. 

"Yes, I did." Yinsen pet her hair. "She's an alpha."

"How the hell are they marketed where you come from?"

"Poorly. The males are afraid of them, threatened. But we omegas know the truth." Yinsen smiled impishly. "They are our saviours. So genteel even when they're chained and broken. We love the females. They make sure we do not get hurt."

She'd been down here with them for a month and a half now, and she'd never so much as once raised her voice, let alone pick one of them up by the throat. 

"They killed my wife because she was the protector of our village. It took fifty men to do it." He let her go, watching fondly as she checked Tony over now. "Imagine how dangerous she will be.

That night she insisted that Yinsen have all the blankets and sleep against the wall, Tony next to him. She sat on the edge of the bed and watched the still room until they fell asleep. 

When Tony woke up the next morning, she was entirely wrapped around him, a human furnace. An arm and a leg were thrown over to Yinsen, who was happily snuggling them. He managed to roll over enough to face her, finding her in her combat pants, but only a black bandeau above the waist. Even her mask was gone. 

She was beautiful. God, she had the chiselled features of a statue with pouty lips and high cheekbones. It was also then he realized, the bar under his pillow was in fact her arm, her  _metal arm_. It wasn't just a glove fixture, but an attached at the shoulder portion of her body. 

"What the hell happened to you?" He breathed, tracing the scarring with his eyes. 

"Train." She murmured. 

"What?"

"Fell. From train."

"When? Where?" 

"Don't know." She curled in closer. "Sleep,  _myshka_."

"I can't sleep now." He whined petulantly. 

Her lips quirked up, those blue eyes shining. "Sleep."

He pouted, tried to shimmy out from under her arm. Her leg locked around him. It was like being trapped under a steel beam. 

"No fair." He whined. "You can't use your alpha strength against me!"

"Watch me." She curled tighter and he was fully pressed against her. "Sleep."

* * *

She watched them, mask back in place. She knew they weren't building the missile. She knew they were planning an escape. 

"You should ask for her help." Yinsen said lowly as they fitted pieces together to be soldered. 

"You think she would?"

"I think she would topple governments if you asked her to."

He glanced over his shoulder, finding her gemstone gaze fixed on him. He decided to try something new. "Alpha, come here."

She did as he bid, stopping a bare foot away from him. 

"I'm leaving. Soon. I want you to help us go."

"Kill them." She said. 

"Yes." He swallowed. He'd never given an alpha an order before. And I want you to come with me."

She stared at him in silence for some time. 

"Go with you?" She asked at length. 

"Yes."

"Okay." She walked back over to the door, one hand on the handle, the other limp by her side. She got into position and didn't move. 

"I guess we keep working." He sighed, going back to the pieces. 

Yinsen continued to watch her, but eventually rejoined him. 

* * *

They woke up to the sound of gunfire. 

"What the fuck?" He panicked, Yinsen beside him clutching his arm. 

The door to their room was open, dead men littering the halls. The two Omegas crept forwards, finding silence and brutalized bodies as they went. They even came across Raza, his head bent unnaturally. Outside, the gunfire abruptly cut off, as did the final mounting scream. Then, the quiet overtook them. 

"Alpha?" Tony called, nervous. 

At the mouth of the cave, she appeared. Covered in entrails and blood, she stared down at the Omegas like a goddess descended. 

"They're dead." She said. "We can go."

Tony took Yinsen's hand and she walked them out of the cave. 

 

 

 


	2. A Pack Mentality

She sat in the far corner, watching him work on the Mark III. Yinsen had been set up with a Green Card and an apartment in New York. He came over to visit often. She had been skittish and protective, refusing to allow Tony any time alone with anyone but Yinsen, Rhodey and Pepper. 

"Are you sure about her?" The other Alpha had asked, looking over at her nervously. 

"She's sweeter than you think, platypus." He assured. "She saved us, remember?"

"Yeah, but there's something . . . not right about her."

"I know. But I trust her to take care of me." He took Rhodey's hand. "Trust me."

"Let me know if you need me." Rhodey hugged him, then left. 

Pepper, bless her Beta heart, had had similar reservations, but marched right up to the hulking Alpha and offered her hand. "If you hurt him in any fashion, I will ensure you will wish you were dead."

The Alpha took her hand firmly, but not aggressively, as a threatened male might. "Good."

And perhaps that's what made it so strange that she wouldn't leave him alone with Obadiah.she was lurking constantly in his shadow, her blue eyes glinting in shadowed violence. Obadiah scowled back at her, but otherwise pretended she wasn't worth his time. The attitude of "I'm male and therefore superior" blocking out her sheer mass advantage on him. 

He glanced over at her now, catching her steady gaze. 

"It just occurred to me. Does that arm need maintenance?"

"Yes."

"Come over here, then." He cleared a space and offered her his wheely chair. "I've got to take care of you, right?"

She didn't say anything to that. 

"It also just occurred to me that I don't have a name from you yet."

"I am the Asset."

He stopped gathering his tools, turning back to face her properly. "The . . . The Asset?"

"The Asset." She confirmed. 

He swallowed thickly. "Who's Asset?"

"HYDRA. They lent me to the Ten Ring's. I was supposed to scare you. Keep the US Army away."

He approached her slowly, taking in the quiet calm of her presence. She was the antithesis of violence when it came to interacting with him. Holy hellfire when someone threatened him, but always sweet and soft to him. "Did they give you a name?"

"Some called me  _Zimniy Soldat_. The Winter Soldier."

"No name?"

She took a moment. "There was a chair. The pain would make the memories go."

Oh God. He got on her lap, tucking her head against his scent gland. "Never again, Alpha. You're mine now. You chose me, I'm yours."

Tentatively, as if she was afraid of backlash, she encircled his waist, pulling him flush against her slowly. " _Myshka_."

He pet her hair. "What else do you remember?"

"Cold. Snow and ice. Dead men."

"You were an assassin."

She pulled back, looking at him steadily. "I'm . . . old. They freeze me so I live longer. High-profile targets, sniper training." She shook her head and ducked it back into his throat.

"It's okay." He nuzzled into her. "We'll figure it out."

* * *

Winter, as he took to calling her, had never gotten rid of her black leather ensemble. Indeed, she kept it clean and precise in a small corner of his workshop. She'd also arranged a small collection of firearms he'd designed. 

He'd come up for something, food probably, when the phone rang. He picked up Pepper's call, and that's when Obadiah struck. 

Obadiah hung up the phone, but he knew Pepper would call Rhodey to come check up on him. What none of them, save him, we're aware of, was Winter's enhanced senses. The paralysis machine wouldn't stop him from leaking distress pheromones like a faucet. 

Obadiah cut the sound off and he spotted, even from this distance, the cluster of shadows that was Winter's lurking bulk. Her eyes caught the faint light and lit on fire, narrowing as Stane rounded on him. 

As soon as the machine to pull the Reactor from his chest appeared, she was around the ridge, her hand around his throat and a murder snarl on her lips the likes of which he'd never heard. And Stane was afraid.

He could do no more in his prone state than lock terrified and furious eyes with her. She turned back to Stane, dangling some inches off the ground. 

"He is mine." She said lowly, barring her fangs at him. All alphas had them, to make the bond mark and to deter challengers. Hers were long and sharp and  _scary_ , and the roar that accompanied their appearance made even the bold Alpha in her hold flinch and whimper. 

Winter kept their gazes locked as she squeezed the life out of him, his neck popping with a very final  _snap_. 

She dropped Shane's listless body and immediately gathered up the Omega in her arms, taking them down to the workshop and hiding them in her corner, surrounded by her guns. Her roar had turned into a soothing Alpha rumble. She kept him hidden from even JARVIS' eyes, snapping and hissing immediately when Rhodey threw open the door to his workshop.

"Oh thank God." Rhodey almost collapsed onto the ground in relief. "You've got him. What happened to Stane?"

"Thief." She hissed. "He tries to take the star from my  _myshka_."

"You killed him?"

"I kill him." Funny how much more her Russian showed with violence, her use of English tenses failing under duress. "My Omega."

"Yeah, thank God." Rhodey went over to the fridge and grabbed some water. "Take care of him. I'm going to see Pepper."

Winter nodded and Rhodey left, the water bottles just inside her reach. He gazed up at her, letting his scent tell her what he didn't have the voice too. 

"Yes," She stroked the side of his face, "I love you too, Omega."

* * *

Winter watched him as he examined the stretching markings. "Poison."

"Yeah." He sighed. "Palladium."

She wrapped herself around his back. Her warmth never failed to make him feel safe. 

"No more flying."

"I'm Iron Man, I have to fly."

She placed her metal hand around the Reactor, pressing him more solidly against her chest. "Tony, do not fly."

"How about we talk about something else instead, hmm?" He spun in her arms, looping his own around her neck. "How about you kiss me?"

"Kissing is not talking."

"And yet I find myself more inclined to kiss."

"You always do." She raised a skeptical and amused eyebrow, but otherwise obliged him. 

How sweet she turned out to be, a safety net of calm and love. She was the most loyal person he'd ever had the grace to meet, and her singular dedication to him was humbling in a way many things weren't. 

She had graduated to following him in public now, otherwise he would never leave the house. 

The funniest thing, however, was her open and hostile dislike of Justin Hammer. 


	3. Professional Grade

Tony learned, very quickly, that Winter was determined to remain glued to his side. 

"Threat." She would insist. 

"Where?"

"Everywhere." 

He gave up, eventually, because as much as it seemed like losing his freedom to Pepper, she never actively stopped him from doing things, either. She just wanted to be there, to always be able to protect him. The familiar and sweet way she would sleep curled around him was testament to that, at least. 

She was there when they dragged him before Congress, forced to sit in the audience with Pepper instead of next to him as she would have preferred. It was amusing to watch her stare, unblinking, at Senator Stern long enough for him to notice and get visibly uncomfortable, but it was laughably funny to see her face twist when Hammer stepped in. Her entire face contorted as soon as she laid eyes on him, like someone asked her to lick a donkey's asshole. She looked like she wanted to growl and hiss, but managed to keep it in. 

She broke out into a grin when he commandeered the screens and shut the panel down. He considered this might be because she was ready to kill everyone in the room save Tony's own favourite two but certainly wasn't going to waste this opportunity. He took her hand as he left in a flourish, less concerned about the mess he was leaving Pepper with than getting Winter's clothes off and letting her knot him silly as a reward. 

* * *

Tony was very, very familiar with disappointing Pepper. Consider it one of his most major flaws. But he also knew this was one of those times it was just going to have to happen. 

"I've let you get away with a lot, Tony. Drunken orgies, drug overdoses, even marriage proposals to me. I've let you hand over the company to me despite it  _being your_ _responsibility_. But Winter is not set for the kind of attention you attract. She can go with you everywhere there aren't cameras, places you don't have to worry about your appearance."

"She's not ugly, Pep."

"She  _gored_ Obadiah Stane. With one hand, if JARVIS' cameras weren't tampered with." The redhead crossed her arms. "You know as well as I do that Monaco is going to be a nest of vipers. She's going to commit homicide and even I can't spin that one."

"Maybe." He got distracted by the files in her hand. "Hiring?"

"I can't be my own assistant." She raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not done with this, however. She can't come with you, no matter how much she wants to."

"Pep." He took her free hand. "I know this doesn't make a lot of sense to you. But you also know me as well as any human being ever has. I love her. She's my alpha. I can't just not let her come because she's too imposing and those other jockstraps are going to take her as a challenge. She means too much to  _me_. She's not Stockholm, not a crutch."

"Tony-"

"You're a beta and so is Happy." He interjected, using his best wounded puppy face. "I've never once asked you to part from him, even when he's not . . . proper for the occasion."

"You don't ask because you make an ass of yourself at those occasions worse than he ever would." She pointed out. 

"And because he's  _yours_." He let down his walls for just a second. "I understand what it means to have someone you love, okay? And I haven't had anyone like that in a long, long time. You remember how Ty and Sunset worked out. Winter's the antithesis of everything I've ever had and I'm crazy about her. There's no way her behaviour will get better without practise anyway."

Pepper stared at him hard for a solid two minutes in deafening silence. 

"I'm going to email you a detailed list of how you're going to train her to act, how she must present and what she's to look like. If she doesn't meet that standard, she's not making an appearance. Come hell or high water, Tony, I will not allow it."

He darted forward and pressed a boyish kiss to her cheek. "Square deal."

"I mean it, Tony."

"I know. I'll personally ensure it."

"You'll have sex with her, you mean. I hope you're using protection."

"Pepper!" He gasped, mock-shocked. "What kind of heathen do you take me for? Have I ever not wrapped it before I tapped it?"

"If she's got as much of a hold over you as you claim, it's entirely possible."

"Miss Potts?"

Pepper turned to an approaching redhead and he took the opportunity to glance back over his shoulder at where Winter was stretching, waiting for him to come back to the ring. Damn, she was a fine-looking woman, all thick ropes of muscle and shimmering brown-black hair that now had bronze highlights in it from the sun. She was a mountain, with strong, broad shoulders and dense, powerful thighs. Absolutely delicious.

"Breaking the glass ceiling, are we, Miss Potts?" He turned back to the two women with a generous smile. "A female omega second-in-command."

"I thought it was appropriate." Pepper nodded along, but the other woman - a peek at the hiring form revealed her to be  _Natalie Rushman_ \- cocked her head in a challenging fashion. 

"Not your cup of tea?" Natalie said simply, with a biting undertone.

He spread his arms. "No room to talk. The less knots at the top, the better it is for everyone."

"No room to talk?" She cocked her head.

"Tony's public profile has him all over the map, but he's an omega." Pepper said, passing Natalie the binder. "I just need your signature and thumbprint down here and your signature on page six, then you're ready to go."

Tony peeked back at Winter again, but she was no longer stretching. She was staring at Natalie. Her expression was her blank, distant, icy stare she'd used in the cave and had been slowly thawing out of the last two years. He was surprised to see it on her, especially directed at an omega. He wandered as casually as he could back over to her, leaning against the ropes. "Hey gorgeous. You come around here often?"

She crouched down next to him. "Who is she?"

"Pep's new assistant." He raised an eyebrow, trying to puzzle her out. "Are you jealous?"

"No." Her flesh thumb brushed his cheekbone. "Something else."

"Tell me, honey."

"Not yet. Not sure."

Tony waited on baited breath for the rest of the time Natalie was there, but Winter just continued to stare at her. No aggressive moves, no nothing.

"Did you discover what you wanted to about Natalie?" He asked on the ride home. 

"Remembering burns." Winter murmured. "But yes. I do know."

"You do?" He was actually kind of surprised. And nervous. Someone Winter would remember was not good news. 

"I will deal with her. She's not going to hurt anyone." Winter took his hand in her metal one, the metal smooth and shining. "I'll take care of it, omega."

* * *

_"Fucking female alphas." Howard slurred, throwing the bottle at his son, but missing with drunken miscoordination. "Evil fucking bastards, the whole ungrateful lot of them. How dare she . . . How dare she assume she knows what goes on in my household?! Threaten to remove my omega?"_

_Evidently, the meeting with Miss Carter hadn't gone well._

_"She thinks she has the pull to take Maria from me? That she can take you? I don't fucking think so! She's an animal, just like a fucking dog, and I'll make her heel one way or another. She didn't deserve the position she's in when she got it and she doesn't now! She doesn't even know what it means to be an alpha! Nothing like Rogers, or even that bitch Barnes."_

_"Barnes?" He managed to ask, meek and instantly regretful. He didn't want Howard's attention now, but he'd never heard of this Barnes (presumably woman?)._

_"Barnes. Barnes was a good one." Howard collapsed onto the sitting room couch, too drunk to remain standing. Good. That meant no more strength for throwing things. "An animal too, a bitch, but a bitch that knew her place. James, that was her name. James Buchanann Barnes. Rogers said she used to protect 'im back in the day, when he was scrawny. He went through hell to get 'er back from HYDRA. She was a good soldier. A dog, but she knew her place. It was behind Rogers, taking his orders. Fucking Carter, where does she get the fucking balls?"_

_He wasn't going to be the one to point out that female alphas had internal testicles. It seemed like a poor choice._

_"Did you like James?"_

_"Didn't meet her much. I get the impression she didn't like me too much." Howard gave an ugly, derisive laugh. "I didn't give a shit. She was alright. Best damn sniper I'd ever seen, kept good care of her weapons. Died on a train. Fell off it or s'mething. Wish it had've been Carter."_

_He also didn't take the opportunity to point out that while Agent Carter was a thorn in his side, he wasn't so sure about Howard's chances with a Black Ops sniper instead of a mouthy spy._

_"Are all female alphas bad? They're all animals?"_

_"Every last fucking one of them." Howard slurred off - close to passing out on the settee. "Should eliminate them from polite society, that's what should be done with 'em. Send 'em to Afghanistan with the rest of the fucking barbarians. No good fucking self-important non-bearing whores . . . "_

_He snuck away quietly once Howard was done and back to his room. Maria was already in bed, trying to sleep away the sting of the slap and the bottle she used to drown out the memory. He snuck back into his room and pulled out his scrap book, the one with all the pictures of Captain America. As he looked through them with his flashlight, he noticed an androgynous woman always just behind him. She was pretty in an alpha-ish way, with a strong, straight jaw and a stance that spoke of confidence and purpose. Bearers weren't allowed in the army, he knew that, so she had to be an alpha._

_He fell asleep with the book clutched to his chest but instead of dreaming about Captain America like he normally did, he was captured in imagining what James was like, who she was. She must have been special for the Captain to go looking for her, strong and more beautiful in person than the pictures could possibly let on. He imagined she could pick him up, hold him high and fight back against Howard with all the sharp belligerence a male alpha would have. She wasn't refined and delicate-looking like Agent Carter, pretending to be less than she was. James, he dreamed, was all the good things about women and all the dangerous things about alphas._

_He dreamed about her into his late twenties, until Tiberius. Until Sunset._

He wondered, thinking retrospectively, if his imagined James would have liked Winter much. Maybe he was conflating the two. After all, Winter was the very essence of his fantasies growing up. Not that the opinion of a long-dead woman would matter anyway.

* * *

"Natalia."

She stopped, turning from where she was organizing Pepper's papers. The hulking alpha Tony kept was standing there, staring her down. She remembered that stare and her blood ran cold. 

"Soldat."

The Soldier's eyes narrowed, a suspicion confirmed. "What are you here for?"

"Intelligence."

"For?"

"SHIELD."

The Soldier scoffed. "They're bad too."

She frowned. "No, they-"

"They have a parasite." The other woman hissed. "Sitwell, Rumlow, Pierce."

Her body locked. "What?"

"Be careful with that you tell them." The Soldier warned, voice dropping dangerously. "If your knowledge hurts him, I will hold you responsible."

She swallowed thickly. The slug wound hurt with an old phantom pain. "Yessir."

The Soldier nodded sharply, turning abruptly and blending back into the shadows of the dark building. 

Natasha took a second to breathe, her instinct threatening to overwhelm over. She'd never felt danger like that, even from alphas. This woman was someone to be feared, and she would be watching. 


	4. A Grand Prix

He had to say, when Winter stepped out of the limousine behind him, he hadn't expected the roar of the reporters to surge the way it did. Mind, he'd dressed her to Pepper's specifications and added his own touch to her rough edges, so he couldn't exactly blame them. 

She was in a sharp pantsuit, a soft grey satin finish, with an partially open bright red blouse underneath. She was in flat-footed shoes, and couldn't be persuaded out of the normal black sports bra she usually wore. It didn't show, so he thought Pepper wouldn't be that mad. Even her hair was done up, pinned behind her head and curled gently to give her a more feminine appearance. He thought it was a lost cause just with her size, but it did look good on her. There was no way she could be coerced into wearing makeup, and Natalie had been unwilling to push the issue. 

Tony wasn't afraid to admit he got wet just at the sight of her, excited and and anxious, just vibrating to get back to their hotel room so he could strip it off her and get her on top of him. 

"Who is she?" A reporter started yelling. 

"What's her gender?" Another called. 

"Where did you meet?"

"What's her name?"

Winter gazed on them with a detached disinterest, but also not tugging Tony closer as a male alpha might have. She walked behind him, instead of pushing him behind her, and didn't puff out her chest or try to make herself seem bigger. 

She was silent, self-assured and unaffected. The perfect picture of confidence and self-control, the opposite of her wild and contemptuous omega. What a pair the media would make of them. 

They managed the throng of reporters, but the viper pit was inside. She got more intense inside, eyes flickering everywhere as if cataloguing everything down to the wallpaper. It was here he realized another specifically female alpha trait - being behind him was a tactical choice. 

Male alphas peacocked, and it was widely accepted that this had been a method developed to protect their omega mates and give them time to escape a predator. Her taking up the rear was not just a display of temperament, but of more tactical value. Behind him, she covered his back while also keeping him well within her line of sight. It would also allow her to throw herself over him in the event of an attack or intercept a target heading for him. She trusted the omega to lead her, and had no issues being led, but this also gelled with her instinctive need to protect. 

He figured he should feel a little bit put out that it wasn't just because he was hers that she would listen, but it was just flattering. He was firmly in control, but she would always be there, ready to defend him from any combatant. 

"Anthony!" A too-jovial voice broke over the rumbling of the crowd. Winter's eyes flickered away. 

"It's Hammer." She muttered in disdain. 

Hammer squeezed through and over to them, his false smile plastered across his face. "I must say, I'm glad I didn't scare you off at Capitol Hill."

Tony didn't even look down over his sunglasses. "Uh-huh."

Winter stared at him as though her eyes would transform into lasers and Hammer's head out explode. 

"I see you've got you alpha bodyguard lurking around." He went to pat her arm in a friendly-looking gesture of challenge, but the arm facing him was the metal one. One grap of the unflinching metal was enough to make him jerk back. "Warming him up for me, sweetheart?"

Winter stared at him, then yawned, showing off her long alpha teeth. Teeth their ancient counterparts would use to rip out competitor's throats. She resumed staring wordlessly after. She didn't move to pull Tony closer, nor did she give off any aggressive scents. Just mildly irritated, a scent that could just as well be put out by boredom. 

A few of the male alphas around them (who very likely still considered themselves above her) chuckled quietly to themselves at his failed challenge. 

"C'mon, Tony, why don't we catch up a little more privately, huh? Get to know each other better."

"Nope."

"Discuss a joint business venture?"

"I think not."

"Be a pal-"

"Did you have a point?" Winter cut in. "His time is very valuable and I don't like to see it wasted."

Hammer stumbled over himself, but Winter rolled her eyes with an agitated sigh and pulled him away from the bar and over to Pepper and Natalie. 

"That was rather rude." He joked. 

"Thank me for it later." She replied, putting him back in front of her. 

* * *

In retrospect, deciding he wanted to race in the grand prix was not his best decision. 

He would be firm when he would eventually argue with Pepper over this - he had no idea that there was a Russian maniac on the track who wanted him dead. He had no way of knowing about his weird whip-things or that he had the schematics to an ARC Reactor back in the motherland. He didn't know his father deported an innocent man looking for his proper share. Pepper would yell that if he hadn't been down there in the first place, nothing would have happened. 

That said, if he had of been smart and watched the race respectfully from his glass box with Winter at his shoulder, he also would have never gotten to witness the beauty that had actually unfolded. 

His racer had been cut in half and he was without suit. The madman had spotted him and was coming for him, and he had nowhere to go. 

Don't get him wrong, he theoretically knew what his alpha was capable of. She'd been his jailer in Afghanistan, had killed Obadiah with one hand and was built like she could stop tanks by flexing her shoulders at them. She was a HYDRA killing machine (her words) and a supersoldier. 

She snarled when she caught one of the whips in her metal hand - likely because the electricity got grounded into a now-burning shoulder - and pulled this strange alpha male toward her. He fought her back, lashing out with the other whip, wrapping around her waist and searing right through her clothes and into her skin. 

She roared, barring her alpha teeth and snapped the whip in her hand before reaching down and yanked him the final feet into her range. She reached out and crushed the power machine in his chest with her flesh hand, dragging him by the harness apparatus and slamming him into the concrete next to Tony hard enough to daze him. 

She tore off the smouldering clothes, her rippling abs and blackening shoulder scarring on full display to the still-rolling cameras. Her metal arm, in its starred and gleaming glory, for all the world to see. 

The man recovered enough of himself to stand and managed one or two glancing hits while she was distracted. Free of the fabric, she grabbed his incoming fist with hers, twisting him around and snapping the bone of his upper arm with a ruthless metal punch. He howled and tried to break free, but she grabbed him by his greasy, unpleasant hair and forced him to his knees, where she began to smash his face into the concrete barricade set up to guide the race. She broke his nose on the first hit, cracked open his forehead and skull on the second, then his brow and cheekbones. She pulled him back, tucked his head under her right arm, jerked it up suddenly, and he went entirely limp. 

Slumped over backwards with an unrecognizable face and a noticeably broken neck, the alpha now lay dead. 

Winter, herself with serious injuries around her waist, ran over to him and smothered the fire on his racing suit with her metal hand. " _Myshka_? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She picked him up, wrapping him up in her strength and safety. "How did you get down here so fast?"

"Jumped out the window."

"Pepper's going to have a field day."

"Would she rather yell for recklessness or cry at your funeral?"

He snorted, opening his neckline and letting her scent him. "Are you going to tell her that?"

"If I have to." She jumped the barricade without the use of her arms and escorted him to the paramedics running up. 

She was silent the rest of the time, even through Pepper's hysterical hugs and yelling about blood pressure. 

They flew back to Malibu that night.

* * *

"Tony."

"What's up, Creamsicle?" 

Her hands settled on his shoulders, around his neck, and he leaned back into her with a sigh. When he opened his eyes to meet her gaze, she was noticeably troubled. 

"What?"

"I don't want that to happen again."

"Monaco?"

She nodded. 

"I won't be impulsive like that anytime soon, I can assure you."

" _Myshka_ , I do not want to be without you. Ever."

Oh. " _Oh._ You- you want to mate me?"

"Yes."

"I-" He swallowed. He wished he'd moved Yinsen to Malibu with him. He needed alpha advice right about now. "I don't think that's a good idea."

She spun his chair around and knelt between his legs, staring up at him plaintively. "I am yours, and you are mine. I know your star is killing you. I know I have bad orders and voices in my head. But I want you there. I want you to become part of me. I almost lost you. I cannot again."

He swallowed thickly. Winter did struggle with the 'old programming', as she called it, but he loved her anyway. 

"I want you in my arms, my body, my mind." She carried on, full of passion and conviction. "Always."

He teared up. 

"I want your mark on my throat, your little omega teeth over my vein." She looked so desperate. "You are all I have, Tony."

He threw his arms around her neck, burying his face in her neck. "You deserve better."

"Don't care." She held him back, just as tightly. "Need you."

"Alright. When?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight? Isn't that a little soon?"

She pulled back and stared at him. "I have been your alpha for two years. If you weren't sure about me, I would not be here, in your bed every night and at your side every day."

"True."

"I want to be your alpha always. Starting now." 

He tapped the desk and JARVIS shut down the workshop. "Let's go."

* * *

When Coulson, Fury and Agent Romanov (so Winter had been right, huh) showed up with a bandaid for his poison and a trunk for his perusal, he'd not known what to make of it. The veining from the palladium was spreading, now under the fresh, silvery mate-mark on his throat in his scent gland. Winter, dressed imposingly in black and grey, had a matching mark on her scent gland too. All three agents were very professional and polite about it. 

The other stuff, not so much. 

Winter's dangerous growls dissuaded the more aggressive handling they were no doubt used to. Fury was a very dominant alpha, after all. Winter was more so. 

In the weeks that followed, Winter sat back and watched him work, at his command if he needed something heavy lifted or moved. Took all the effort out of having to sledgehammer anything, that's for sure. 

She was at his side when he discovered the formula for Starkium, when he made it and had celebrated the installation of the replacement Reactor with the slowest, hardest fuck he'd ever had the pleasure of. God, that woman could go for hours. 

"I love you." She said, wrapped around him in the early hours of the morning. "I will always love you."

"Me too, alpha." He let her rumbling soothe him back to sleep, her hand protectively covering his new heart. "Me too."

 

 


	5. No Boss Of Mine

Winter had become something of an icon after Monaco. Female alphas around the country rallied around her image, along with butch lesbians of every denomination. Omegas would send her love letters and sometimes gifts. Male alphas got on television and complained bitterly about her. 

"She's exactly what we've been warned about since childhood." One pundit, a male alpha, spat. "She's dangerous and vicious - a threat to the very fabric of society."

"If society can be threatened by one woman protecting the man she loves," A female omega snarled back, "then it deserves to fall."

Winter herself held little to no opinion on the proceedings - she had Tony's teeth in her throat and his whispering in her mind. 

Pepper had been rightly horrified, but had stopped short when she made it back to the States and saw the mate-bite. She had simmered down her outrage, congratulated them, and told them Winter was officially allowed to wear whatever she pleased (within reason) and to try not to brutally kill so publicly if it must be done. Winter had nodded once in acceptance of the terms and Pepper had collapsed onto the settee, the stress that had held her together dissipating. Winter had taken her under her other arm (Tony already cuddled against her) and let her soak in the muted cool scent she gave off, soothing and fresh. 

That had been a while ago now, and Winter's cult-like admirers had grown. She was a celebrity in her own right now. They would probably die to see her in a dress, though Tony got the impression she'd never been a 'skirts and dresses' kind of woman even before whatever landed her with HYDRA. 

And of course, when he got wind of Loki in Germany, he just had to drop her off in Coulson's lap and invite himself to their party. 

In retrospect, it was highly unlikely either of them were prepared for the confrontation that followed. 

* * *

Once he was back aboard the helicarrier, Winter appeared at his side. She was in jeans, combats and a red Henley with the sleeves pushed up to her elbows. Her hair was lose around her, as it usually was. 

Their mating had calmed down her instincts somewhat - she would be able to tell if he was injured or in distress from halfway across the planet now. She still scented him just to be sure, but then was content to follow him quietly through the halls into the meeting room on the bridge. 

"The iridium. What does he need the iridium for?" Ah, Dr. Banner. He'd been looking forward to meeting the man before the accident. Possibly even more so now. God knows he knew broken souls. Maybe he should start a club. 

"It's a stabilizing agent." He rounded the corner, finding his new boy-band assembled at the table. 

Banner, an omega; Natasha, an omega; Hill, a sensible beta; Rogers, an alpha; Thor, an Asgardian wildcard. Who was to say the Asgardian even had the physiology of a human? He only gave off the smell of ozone and rain, nothing definable either way. 

Steve abruptly sat up straighter once they were in full view, eyes locked on Winter. "Bucky?!"

The room went still and silent, even the navigation officers stopped to look. Winter, as unflappable as ever, stared at him in return. "Who the hell is Bucky?"

Steve was out of his seat in a flash, rounding the table to stand in front of her, examining her closely. She stepped in front of Tony, barring her fangs. 

"It is you!" He exclaimed. "Oh my God, how did you survive the train?"

"My name is Winter." She bit out. "I don't know who Bucky is."

"James?" Steve tried again, joy dimmed and doubt growing in his eyes. "James Buchanan Barnes?"

"Stop calling me someone else's name!"

Tony grabbed her elbow and pulled her back, tucking himself against her side. "Alpha, honey, please."

She deflated immediately, tucking her face into his neck, teeth slotted over their mate mark. 

Steve, firmly blocked by Winter, looked more than a little torn. 

"When did you mate her? After Monaco?" Hill asked, plain and concise. 

"Yeah." He replied, a little breathless. She had her arms wrapped around him, holding him decidedly close. 

"Huh."

"I don't know who he's talking about." She whispered in his ear, shielded by her hair. "But I feel like I should."

"It's okay, honey. It doesn't matter to me. You're mine, and I've got you."

She pulled back, more grounded, but posture more defensive. 

"Maybe you should sit back down, Capsicile."

Steve frowned, but did as he said, staring at Winter the whole time. 

Tony did his best not to panic, because Steve was  _right_ and  _how did I not notice before?_

* * *

When he went to change clothes to meet with Bruce, she pinned him to the wall with a desperate kiss. 

"I tried to think of Bucky, of James Barnes." She admitted. "It burned. So immediately, so intensely. It burned and I had to stop. When I stopped, it went away. I don't know who they were, if I look like them or was them, but I'm not now."

"Shh, shh, honey. It's okay." He cupped her face and made her look at him. "I don't care. You're mine, my Winter, my sexy alpha in black leather. Whatever he was on about isn't going to change this mark on my neck, or the mark on yours."

She kissed him solidly again, hoisting him off the ground, and held him like that. 

"I have to change, honey."

She grunted and put him down, going to change into her own tac gear. He didn't want to push her - the weapons and leather soothed her, made her more comfortable. He let her have it in peace and changed himself, slipping on her Henley just to watch her smile. 

She didn't put on the leather overjacket with all the extended mag holsters, but her leather jerkin was strapped with matte black knives, her metal arm on full display as they navigated the passages of the carrier. 

Bruce looked up when they entered, but only flickered his gaze to Winter before he started explaining what he'd already been doing. 

Winter remained in the corner of the room, out of the way, until Steve walked in, his pheromones on blast and looking like he was itching for a fight. Winter remained in her corner, glaring, but didn't interrupt as Tony shut the intruding alpha down. 

She approached them once Steve left in his huff, rubbing her neck against him, but eyeing Banner. 

"Can I?" She murmured. 

"Scent?" He asked back. 

"Mmm-hmm."

"Go for it. Pack, though."

She let him go, approaching Banner. The other scientist peered up at her, meek but curious. And unafraid, which made her smile. Slowly, as to not alarm, she rolled up the sleeve of her jerkin and offered him her wrist. Bruce glanced over at Tony, who nodded with a smile. 

"You, uh, you don't have to." 

She kept her wrist out. 

With a sigh that sounded more relieved than put-upon, he turned his head to the side, tilted up, with his eyes closed. She cupped his cheek with her metal hand, gently rubbing her scent into his skin, from just under his jaw to the top of his collarbone. 

"Sweet omega." She murmured. "No one can hurt you here."

Bruce melted into her touch, eyes flickering open and a small smile on his lips. "I actually believe you."

She didn't linger much more on the interaction, giving Tony one more kiss before retreating to her corner to stay out of their way. 

* * *

It all went downhill when Fury and Natasha came to check up on their progress and Steve marched in, hurling accusations. 

Despite being ostensibly on the same side of the issue, Steve still treated Tony with open hostility. As soon as they turned on each other, Winter pushed herself between them. What she lacked in equal height she made up for in ferocity. Steve had snarled at her, but she returned it twofold, her aura infinitely more menacing than anyone else in the room. 

When the room had exploded, she fell down with Natasha and Bruce. Tony took off with Steve. 

Her whispering in his mind said she was okay, unhurt, and would come for him. 

Until then, he had a helicarrier to keep in the sky. 

* * *

"Where's Bruce?" He asked once they were all accounted for.

"Jumped at a plane. Got blown away."

"Holy shit. Did the Hulk try to hurt you?"

She shook her head, her hair matted in blood. She'd been busy killing off the invading forces while he'd been preoccupied. 

"No. He chased Natalia."

"Natasha?"

"Sure." Winter looked him over. "You are okay?"

"Yeah, baby. I'm good."

She nuzzled him, sweetly caressing his cheeks. 

"I do have an idea, however, about where Loki went."

* * *

The battle for New York was exhausting, but some of the highlights came from watching video playback of Winter, in all her murderous glory, begin her rampage. 

"Hulk?" She asked, standing between thee green beast and Tony. "Want to play?"

Hulk looked down at her, recognition flashing in his eyes and grinned with a grunt. 

"Shoulders. We go up." She hiked herself up onto his shoulders, locking her legs around his neck and hanging on tightly as Hulk took off to do hulk things. Tony couldn't help but smile - Winter must have the same instincts as he did for broken people. Like to like, at the end of the day. 

He caught glimpses of her as he sped around the sky, including the moment she can out of bullets (was she sharp-shooting the flying assholes tailing him with an assault rifle?!) and began to use the gun as a club with her flesh hand and smash faces with her metal one. 

Hulk seemed to have noticed the change in tactics too, because he roared in joy and fury, echoed down the street by her answering howl of malicious exuberance. He would always grab her before he jumped, too, taking her with him and more than once using her as a projectile in his opening statements. She took no offence to this, some deep visceral hunger for murder rising to the top. She was even biting out throats, which seemed to unnerve the Chitauri and Loki, who kept looking at her in mild discomfort. 

Served the horned prick right. Be scared - that scary ass bitch down there was Tony's scary-ass bitch, and she was more than capable of -

Hulk roared in humour as she  _tore both the arms off a Chitauri_. She gave a maniacal laugh in answer, pounced on another invader like a lioness, then punched his face inside-out like a surly gorilla. The gleam of her arm was mostly hidden by gore from the aliens, along with her mouth and throat, but she seemed to be having fun, and Tony could appreciate that. And honestly, if he wasn't doing his best not to die, he might have been getting horny.  But then, if he died, she would take it so badly that she'd repel the aliens on her own and challenge Odin for the power to kill Loki with extreme prejudice. 

That knowledge was forefront in his mind when Nick let him know a rogue  _nuke_ was inbound. 

"No!" She yelled over the comm. "Don't go!"

"If he can save us, he's going to." Steve replied, voice sharp. 

Winter snarled like a wounded, caged animal. "If he dies- If this kills him, I will skin you and eat you alive."

"Bucky-"

"Drop it." Natasha's ever-pragmatic voice broke over the comm. "Up to you, Stark."

"Just-" He took a deep breath, JARVIS bringing up her body cam. She was tearing off body parts and using them as weapons to beat their comrades down with, just the right edge of desperation that said she was scared to death for him. He could feel her pulling on their bond, doing everything she could to dissuade him. "Just catch me."

"I will." She promised, the frantic feeling coming across in her voice too. "Come back."

He got under the nuke, managed to angle it the right way, then abruptly realized his suit wasn't waterproof, let alone fit for  _space travel_. 

He woke up what was presumably a few minutes later to Winter's relieved face and Hulk's angry huffing. 

"You've alive." She collapsed on top of him, hugging him tightly through the armour. 

"We're glad you're alright, my friend." Thor said, standing over her. Steve, who had presumably also run over, was standing a few feet away. 

"Right." Winter got up, turned around, and punched Steve so hard he collapsed onto the ground. She went over to Hulk, smiling up at him. "Thank you."

He grunted, sniffed, then nodded at her. She nodded back. To their collective surprise, he very carefully laid his palm on the top of her head.  _Pat, pat, pat._

"Good alpha. Like Winter."

She grinned crookedly, wickedly, and recovering from her surprise remarkably well. "I like you too." She pulled up her sleeve, revealing her mostly unsoiled wrist, and held it out to him. He grunted again, dropping down onto his hands so she could pass her scent along his brow, respect for the lack of  _claim_ involved between cooperating alphas. Tony supposed it wasn't weird for Hulk to show her deference - Bruce already had, and Hulk seemed to have a soft spot for his omegan counterpart - but it was definitely weird to witness. 

"I'm feeling a little left out."

Winter turned back to him, immediately coming back to his side. "I am going to be very mad at you when we get home."

"I don't blame you." He managed a smile, despite still feeling like garbage. 

"We're not done yet." Thor pointed out gently.

Winter scowled again, an unsettlingly large kukri knife appearing in her hand. 

"You had that you on you the whole time and just  _chose_ to punch aliens?"

She shrugged. "When will I ever get to say I punched aliens again? Much better story than stabbing or shooting aliens. Besides, I was stabbing aliens. I didn't want to lose a really good knife."

Hulk grunted an approximation of a laugh. 

"Fair enough, I suppose. Rhodey will certainly be jealous."

She helped him to his feet, all of them looking up at Stark Tower. 

"Clint gets first dibs." Clint said over the headset. 

"Like fuck you do." Winter spun her knife. "First to the platform."

"Game on, Frosty."

"A lift, Tony?"

"It's the least I can do."

"Enough flirting over the comm." Natasha said. 

* * *

Winter preferred Malibu, and would suggest, every three months or so, that they go back there with Bruce, but didn't complain about New York. Much. 

"What's wrong with the tower?" He laughed. 

"Snipers." She replied, scanning the horizon. "So many snipers."

Of course, her insistence that they take their fledgling pack back to Malibu might have had a touch more to do with Steve. 

 


	6. Intentions and Irritations

The change was slow, and it began after the others moved into the Tower. 

"Have you noticed Bucky's more aggressive with me than anyone else?" Steve had mentioned. 

So he began to pay attention to it. The slow, incremental changes that overcame Winter were dangerous, and not in the sexy, breathless way that putting her fist through an alien face was. These were incremental differences in how she treated him that reminded him of Tiberius. 

Whenever she was around, she subtly sheparded him away from Steve, pushed him to sit between her and Bruce. She was constantly at odds with Steve, the only other alpha in the Tower, and she hung around him more than normal, almost strapped to his side. 

Pepper and Rhodey might have been right to be dubious about her before he'd mated her. She was cutting him off from the team. Isolating him. Stories he'd been told by Howard and in his sex education courses kept springing to mind: domineering, jealous female alphas, resentful of any males and hoarding the omegas for herself. She hadn't really done that - Bruce and Natasha remained unperturbed by her - but who's to say she wouldn't progress to it? Not to mention her distracted distance. Whenever Steve was around, it was nearly impossible to get her attention. 

But he was mated, a biological bond that science didn't understand the formation of, let alone how to break it. Much more binding than a marriage licence, more ownership. 

He also knew who she'd been. He seen her deadly action, the monster that lurked inside her. If she didn't want to let him go, there really would be no escaping her. There would be no security he could buy, no place he could go where she couldn't-

"Tony."

He snapped up, fake smile ready to beam at her. She just looked wounded at its appearance. "Hey honey. What's up?"

"Are you okay?" She stroked down the nape of his neck and it stung how good her touch still felt. 

"Always."

She frowned, kneeling in front of him. His silvery mate mark shone on her throat, right prominent. "Has Steve been talking to you again?"

His smile tightened. "I can talk to whoever I want to."

"You can." She agreed easily. "But there's poison in his words I don't think you taste when he talks."

He frowned back. "So, I don't hear properly now?"

God, it even sounded petty, but Ty had been able to make complaints about his autonomy sound ridiculous too. He had never considered Winter capable of that kind of manipulation, but maybe he should have. Dismissing potential is how he'd flown under the radar as a genius, after all. 

She didn't sigh like he was being temperamental or childish. She cocked her head, genuinely studying him. "I have been hasty."

"Hasty?"

"Yes. I assumed, and I should not have." She sat back in her crouch, no longer touching him. "I won't try to shield you from Rogers anymore. I will ask you to give his words the same kind of scrutiny that you've just given my actions."

He was flabbergasted. "What the hell are you on about right now?"

She patted his knee and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "I can't explain it. Not yet. I need to read more. But I will be here. Always."

And she stood, leaving him alone and floored in his own workshop. 

* * *

"She's been more distant from you, huh?" Steve commented. 

Winter was absent this morning, down at the range. His side was colder without her taped to him like she had been and he almost didn't know if he missed it or not. 

"I guess so." Never let alone know there's trouble in Paradise. Maria had drilled it into him as soon as he presented.  _Even if he hits you, that's what concealers are for. They'll take what they can get and hurt you with it more than your alpha ever will._

"I know you're bonded, but maybe this isn't best for you. Maybe you need to let her go."

He was distinctly aware at that moment that Winter actually had nothing outside him. Winter might be a world-class assassin, but he held all the power. He decided whether she lived or died. She didn't even have legal name, documentation, nothing. 

"Maybe." He replied absently. 

Winter herself exited the elevator with a StarkPad in hand, looking up briefly to acknowledge them. She nodded, then walked away, focused on whatever she had displayed. She'd been careful not to do anything territorial since their conversation. He definitely missed the casual scenting, the gentle, absent touches, her warmth. He felt very small without that acceptance. 

"Female alphas can be a handful, and Bucky was always wilful, no matter how much the omegas liked her back then." Steve continued, unhindered by Tony's wandering eye. "Maimed more than a few alphas back in the day. I'd hate to see something happen to you because of her jealousy."

Yeah, well, that was all well and good until he realized she'd not asked to go to Malibu in five months, almost six. 

"That might just be my experience with her. She never kept an omega long. I'm surprised she decided to with you."

That hurt. He didn't know why, but Steve had hurt him this time. "I don't really want to talk about this anymore."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." Steve was hasty to say, but it almost sounded rehearsed. "I'm just worried Bucky's not right for you."

He didn't reply - didn't have the words. He got up and left, up to his bedroom. Winter wasn't there. 

* * *

 

Over the next couple of months, Winter made a concerted effort to try with Steve. She went places with him, did things with him, began to run with him. 

"I want to make it easier for you." She explained to him. "I was inconsiderate of your feelings toward him."

"It's not about me, baby." He replied, taking her hand. 

"He is staying. It bothers you that I do not like him, that I do not want to get along with him."

He winced - it was true. It made everything harder when there was inter-personal conflict in the team. Steve staring wistfully at Winter also didn't help. 

"So I am trying. I will do my best to play nice with him. Maybe make friends." She smirked crookedly; she didn't think it was going to happen, but she'd do it anyway. "Also, I am sorry I made you feel controlled."

He blinked. He's never brought that up to her, never mentioned it. That she'd taken the initiative to remember _and_ apologize for something he'd let go was very, very telling about her character. "I accept your apology."

She ducked her head. "I really am. I hurt you, and that is unacceptable."

"Everybody's got landmines. Just- not again, and we'll call it square." He held out his pinkie finger. 

She smiled, bright and warm, hooking her metal finger with his. "I promise."

* * *

"Hey Tony." Steve greeted him with a bright smile. "Buck and I are going to take a look at our old places. Apparently they've been made into museums. Want to come?"

"Sure. I've never actually been."

Winter, standing behind Steve, stared ahead with an unreadable expression. 

"It's nice to see you playing nice." He'd addressed Winter, but Steve spoke before she even opened her mouth. 

"It's been good. I hope the progress continues."

"Progress?"

"To become herself again." Steve lead them to the waiting car, but for some reason his choice of words was bothersome. 

Winter didn't make eye contact with either of them the whole drive, nor did she speak. Steve chatted animatedly about past adventures and the omegas that had drifted in and out of Bucky's bed back in the day. 

"I'm surprised you keep you hair long now. Your ma would have loved it, but you were dead set on the boys' hair."

Tony knew it was because the Winter Soldier had never been allowed that much care, and they'd let her hair grow out because it didn't interfere. Winter had told him all her protocols, what they'd done for her and what they'd refused. She'd been concise, but not skimpy on her torture details. Had she not told Steve? Or had Steve not read Tony's version of her file?

They stopped in an old section of Brooklyn, in front of an apartment complex that was aged, but well-preserved. Steve led them in, ignoring the tours, and showed them around the small rooms, containing the relics of the sickly boy that Steve had been, and the alpha provider Bucky had been before she'd drafted. 

"We have so much shared history here, Bucky." Steve rattled on, nostalgic. "Look! They even have the stuffed rabbit you made for Rebecca."

Winter, steadfastly silent and brooding, was tense and on-edge. Her eyes flickered around the rooms, assessing and cataloguing them, but she didn't touch anything with the surefire familiarity Steve did. She watched him pace the room. Finally Steve asked the fateful question. 

"Don't you remember, Buck?"

Winter went rigid as a board and Tony felt her distress keenly through their bond. Clearly, even the prescence of her bondmate wasn't enough to keep her stress down

"No, I don't." She managed through clenched teeth, aware of the eyes of little ones in the room, and shown herself out. 

Steve looked heartbroken, but ultimately, Tony followed her out and sat down beside her on the pavement. He thought she might be sad, or regretful, but she just looked furious. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked gently.

She took his hand, kissing the knuckles. "Not here. Too much spectacle."

Steve came out a few minutes later, but Winter didn't give him the chance to talk either. She glared Steve down when he tried to talk to her inside the limo. 

When they made it up to the common floor, she made to bee-line for the elevator to Tony's room. 

"You'll never get better if you keep running from it." 

She stopped in the main hall, her shoulders thick with tension and fury. She turned to face him, fangs barred. Steve and Tony both stepped back, but she was only glaring at Steve. 

"Get better?" She snarled, stalking back toward him. "Get  _better_? There is no  _getting better_!"

"What do you mean?"

"I am not Bucky Barnes! I will not get better!" 

"Sure you can."

She snarled in frustration, looking like a savage and feral wolf gnashing at the bars of a cage. "You don't understand! You think because the body lived, that she did. But there is more to it than that."

Steve's brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Winter was pacing. "I looked into her, Barnes, months ago. I read all of her documents, researched her life. She fell from the Alps, possibly to her death, possibly to the discovery of someone else. The files state that her body was unrecovered. I learned, and I know that we look too alike not to be her. But I am not Barnes."

Steve was frowning harder, trying to follow her tangent. "But- yes. You are. You're my Bucky. No matter what HYDRA did to you."

"It does matter what they did." She retorted. "They took Barnes, with all her strength and her serum, and they put her through hell. They kept her body intact, this body, but they burned her away. They burned and burned and burned and I came after. I tried to remember, tried to recall anything at all. The pain was instant. They killed her mind. She's gone. James Barnes died in torture."

"Maybe you just need the right thing to remember-"

"I know better than you what's inside my head!" Winter snapped, Alpha Voice rising. Tony hadn't even been sure she possessed one, like male alphas did. She did, and it was all of her dominance and lethality turned to words. Steve immediately bared his neck and Tony whimpered. "It's agony to try to think about the past. I don't get flashes or snippets of memories. I didn't know who she was until you."

Steve didn't meet her eyes. 

"I'm Winter Stark." She said, authority dripping from every word. "Barnes is never coming back."


	7. Burning On High

"What the hell did she do to Cap?" Clint asked. 

He just shook his head, unable to even begin. Last night had been tough. She'd woken up in blind panic and rage more than once, halfway through a strike before their bond would snap at her and she'd stop, blinking as though she was only just seeing him. Eventually, she just gave up on sleeping. He did too, helping her through the cold sweats and hot flashes. Digging through her memories searching for Barnes had only surfaced the intense torture that had killed her, and she'd sobbed into his shirt, whimpering the same phrase over and over. 

_Please, I'll tell you anything, do whatever you want._

There was nothing to be done for it - they'd wanted her broken, awaiting orders not asking for them. They wanted her silent for fear of screaming, still for fear of beating and obedient for fear of a slow death. They wanted Winter, not James, and she'd become exactly what it had taken to survive. Even finding James in her distant recollection had been hard. Going back to the very foundation of her existence, to the time when they blended together then Winter broke free to escape Bucky's death, had been insurmountably painful. 

"Yeah, he's been quiet." Bruce wrung his hands, more aware that something had gone down than the others. He seemed to be better attuned to Winter's feelings than the others. 

"I can't speak for Cap." He settled on, turning away from them. Winter was passed out in their room and he'd only come down for water and some protein bars. She was going to be feeling shitty enough, she didn't need to be hungry too. 

"She's dangerous." Clint said and he paused, looking over his shoulder at the archer. 

"You did not just say that."

Clint stared back. 

"Well, firstly, she's my bondmate and I own this place, so if anyone's made uncomfortable by her, they can leave. Secondly, how incredibly sexist. I'd have thought better of you, Barton."

"It's not sexist - it's the truth." Clint interjected. 

"Third," He continued, "everyone in this Tower is dangerous. Literally all of us. That's why we're together. If you're squeamish just because of a personal incident, then I don't know what to tell you."

He turned away decisively, getting in the elevator back to his floor. When he got back, she was sitting in the bed, her shirt soaked through and tears streaming down her cheeks. 

"Woah, hey, hey." He dumped his haul onto the bedside table and grabbed her, tucking her face into his neck. "It's okay. It's okay, sweetheart. I've got you."

"Tony." She murmured, nosing him and wrapping her arms tightly around him. "I need help."

"What do you need me to do?"

"There are words. Words that make me submit."

"Trigger words."

"Yes. I need them gone. They can use them. They have the book."

"Okay honey. When you're a little better, you can write them down and I'll figure something out."

She nodded against his throat, holding him to tightly it was on the verge of crushing him. "I need the pain to stop."

"I know, sweetheart. I'll find a way. I promise."

* * *

In the weeks that followed, Winter's fits petered out. She only occasionally woke up from memories, quiet and pensive for a few hours. She got less twitchy and punchy, back to her normal ambivalence. 

Tony stared at the words she'd left for him, her precise and impersonal instruction on how they worked. It was revolting and gruelling to read. More than once, his emotions got the better of him and he began to cry. His girl had been through so much - she didn't deserve any of this. 

And that was before he found her notebook. 

A hundred and fifty pages, bound in black leather with a Bic pen next to it, it had appeared innocently enough on the desk in their bedroom. When he opened it, there were just names, listed in neat rows, side by side in her flowing font. Her beautiful handwriting almost distracted him as he flipped through the pages until his eyes found  _John F. Kennedy_ amongst them. He started scanning the pages harder, finding names of assassinated world leaders, Congressmen, despots, businessmen and paramilitary CEOs. 

"I'm remembering them."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, finding Winter standing some ways behind him, shrunk in on herself like she was afraid he was going to lash out at her. 

"Writing down their names helps."

He closed the book, walking over to her and wrapping her up in his arms. "Sweetheart, what did they do to you?"

"A lot." She whispered back, tucking her face in his neck. 

* * *

Tony never actually figured HYDRA would come for him. He was too high-profile a target - the public would notice his absence and there really wasn't anyone they could pin an assassination on. 

Which was an underestimation on his part, he supposed. Winter, however, had no such illusions. 

Not three days since finding her journal - and her teary-eyed confession that she thought she killed Howard and Maria - one such incident occurred. 

A thick and brutish man reeking of alpha dominance was sniffing around his kitchen, no doubt trying to find the newest traces of the omega in his own home. He was about to whisper to JARVIS to alert the Avengers when a ferocious snarl rippled across the room. He peeked around the corner to find Winter exiting the stairs, body slick with sweat from her morning workout. 

" _Soldat?_ " The man asked, as if confused. 

A snarl rippled out of her, barring her alpha fangs, and she lunged the man. 

Watching playback of the Chitauri invasion had been funny - she'd ripped off limbs, stuck her fist through chests and torn out throats. The way she was attacking this man made that joyous irreverence seem like she was playing in a ball pit. 

She opened with a fist across his face, likely shattering his jaw, and beat him down with such rage and hatred. She was snarling at him in Russian, something to the effect of  _I'm never going back_ , and hissing about how he was her omega and everyone would die before he came to harm. In a murderous, blood-soaked kind of way, it was endearing. He never had any reason to doubt her affections or loyalties. 

She beat the man's face into a pulp - not enough left of him to identify - and stabbed his corpse a couple of times for good measure. 

Steve and Natasha exited the elevator in a rush, only to immediately backpedal. The scent Winter was giving off was overwhelming - a rush of icy spearmint hanging off the sheer, overwhelming  _malevolence_. It was so thick in the air, it was hard to breathe. Whoever else may have been sent in the insertion team was likely as frozen with fear as Natasha was, as paralysed by the dominance as Steve. 

Winter stood up, looming over the corpse and snarling at the intruders. "You let him in."

"No, we just got the alarm-" Steve tried, but Winter's rumbling growl shut him up. 

" _You let him in_." She started stalking toward them. "You're allowed to stay here, in my omega's home, live off his generosity and  _you let threats get to his bedroom._ "

"No, Buc- Winter, that's not-"

" _You are supposed to protect him_." She hissed again. "You are the alpha, the guardian. You let him get this far. You call yourself Captain, but you let your pack omega within reach of harm in his den. If you fail again, you'll pay for it with your life."

Steve nodded mutely, seconds away from dropping to his knees. Natasha was already curled in a ball behind him, back to the wall and head between her knees. 

He'd never felt dominance like this, so thick in the air it made it hard to breathe. He managed to crawl around the corner, catching her attention. 

"Alpha, come here."

She followed his instructions so naturally, sinking down to her knees beside him and pulling him onto her lap. The dominance cleared nearly instantly, her scent back to the cool freshness of acai and blueberry in ice, mostly neutral and soothing. 

She looked up and met Steve's gaze again, expression hard for just long enough to glare him down. "I will kill you, Rogers. He is more important than any of you."

Steve nodded mutely, going back into the elevator. Natasha shrunk away when Steve tried to help her up, opting to simply stay put until her instincts released her. 

He rubbed the scent glands on his wrist over her neck and face, kissing the straight slope of her nose. "I'm safe, alpha. You keep me safe."

She huffed, nuzzling further into him. 

"You need to help Natasha."

Winter grunted, putting him back down and going over to Natasha, tucking the omega's face into the cool scent of her normal self, coupled with Tony's own calming pheromones rubbed into the skin. 

"You will always be safe from me, omega." She crooned to the redhead, who gradually relaxed. "You are safe."

Natasha let out a shaky breath, hiding under the long curtain of Winter's hair. "I'm sorry. Thank you."

"You're forgiven." Winter petted her some, then the spy unfurled, getting to her feet and dabbing at the wetness around her eyes. 

"I'm going to go sleep and pretend this never happened." She decided aloud. 

"Send Clint to clean this." Winter said, gesturing to the dead agent. "I want his stench gone."

"Right away, alpha." Natasha offered a shaken smile and rung for the elevator, holding onto the bars as the doors closed behind her.

"That wasn't necessary."

"It was. They will understand or I will make myself clearer."

He chuckled to himself. His silly, rightfully-overprotective alpha, all sweet and cuddly. One day, she was actually going to end someone important and he would have to invest in creating the world's best cover up. 

She picked him up and carried him to bed, setting him down and nesting close to him. She hummed, shoving her face into his neck and nosing at the bonding bite. "I'll kill whoever tries to harm you."

"I love you too." He paused, considering. "Does this mean you'll be glued to me again?"

"Yes." She kissed the bondmark. "Snipers, Tony."

He laughed, tangling his fingers in her hair. 


End file.
